Some people look like their dogs, whether it’s the same shaggy cut that their Shih Tzu has, or a nose that resembles their pug’s. Others may look a lot like their partners, so much so people may even start to think they look like siblings. Some, however, fall into the more uncomfortable category, where their partners resemble… their parents (instant boner-killer)!
Yes, there’s a theory that we are attracted to people who look like our parents, and it comes from the famous Austrian neurologist Sigmund Freud, who dubbed it the Oedipus complex in males. This theory refers to the child’s desire for sexual involvement with the opposite sex parent (yea, gross). But in Freud’s case, he was probably just another mother/MILF-lover, rather than being attracted to partners who physically resemble his mom.
If you’ve ever thought that your partner resembles your mom/dad, just know that it’s nothing incestuous! Studies have shown that heterosexual people often choose partners who resemble a parent of the opposite sex, but that doesn’t mean that you’re lusting after your mom or dad! According to research by psychologist David Perrett, we are drawn to characteristics that our parents had when we were born. Women with older parents were found to be more attracted to age cues in male faces than women with younger parents. For men, their preference for female faces was influenced by their mother’s age rather than their father’s age, but only in long-term relationships.
This, however, goes beyond age. According to research by Zuzana Trbová of Charles University in Prague, many straight women’s ideal partner body shape is similar to their fathers’ body shape. Further investigation revealed that women who reported a positive childhood relationship with their father were more likely to express a preference for male bodies similar to their fathers’. So yes, the obsession with the ‘dad-bod’ is real!
But are we predisposed to be drawn to someone who looks like our parents? In a second follow-up study, David Perrett looked at how physical traits of parents, such as hair and eye colour, affect a person’s choice of a partner. The majority of the individuals were attracted to someone who had the same or similar hair and eye colour as their parents, according to the research.
Perrett gave two explanations for why people are attracted to partners that resemble their parents, the first being imprinting. When we were born, our parents were the first humans we trusted. Naturally, we unconsciously take people who have similar hair and facial features to be more trustworthy than others. Another possibility is the mere exposure effect, which states that the more we are exposed to someone, the more we like them.
That’s why people have crushes on their classmates or coworkers – you’re constantly around those people, so it’s natural to prefer them over others. Likewise, because people respond positively to familiar features (including parental traits), they would choose partners who have attributes similar to their parents’ because they appear more familiar when compared to others.
So, if you notice that your partner reminds you of your parents, don’t freak out. Just because they look like your parent doesn’t mean that you’re attracted to them. It’s more about the sense of security and comfort you’ve felt since you were a child; you were simply looking for someone who makes you feel safe and comfortable!
