There’s this unspoken rule when it comes to the gifts you’re ‘allowed’ to keep after a breakup – a really comfy hoodie? Keep. A solid pair of sneakers? Keep, duh. The matching ring you both have? Ah hah, throw it out. But what about the nudes?
Now before we start actually getting into things, let’s all be honest; if you’re a sex-having adult, you’ve either sent or received nudes at some point in your life. But what happens after the situationship/relationship/sneaky link or whatever you guys like to call it nowadays, ends? Is it okay to keep the nudes they once sent you?
Now in an ideal world, the sender and receiver would’ve had a sit down, and held a grown-up conversation surrounding each other’s boundaries, BEFORE the nudes were sent. But our world is nowhere near ideal, so it’s more likely that the conversation did NOT happen. That being said, what the f***k are you supposed to do now?
Many people like to assume, or at least hope that once the relationship ends, their nudes perish – meeting their fate as their ex click that delete button. Well, hate to break it to you, but your nudes are most likely very alive and doing well; probably floating around someone’s iCloud or main gallery even.
Now for the questions; Should you be able to keep a nude if it was made specifically for you? Does it depend on the nature of the breakup? Do you have to ask your ex to delete them after you breakup? Super awkward, right?
Now, personally (you don’t have to agree), I think it’s just downright weird to keep your ex’s nudes. Like, no, honestly, what’s wrong with you? Okay, let’s say you have 4 exes and all of them used to send you nudes – you’re telling me you have nude pictures of 4 different girls on your phone??
But honestly, don’t you think that once you’ve broken up, there is no reason to keep them – for personal pleasure or not? Receiving a nude from the person you’re dating is a privilege, and when you no longer share that intimacy, you don’t get to have that privilege anymore – it’s pretty straightforward!
Sure, they sent it to you, the consent WAS there, but after you’re no longer romantically entangled with one another, the consent we just talked about, is in simple terms, expired. Obviously, the boundaries and rules of when you both were in a romantic relationship change when you break up.
And if you’re keeping an ex’s nudes for masturbation material, then you are a weirdo. Pleasuring yourself to someone’s picture is just creepy if things ended badly, and it’s EVEN creepier if you guys are still friends – you are just a creepy weirdo. Also, why are you acting like Twitter doesn’t have an ENDLESS supply of naked people who never met your family or kept a toothbrush at your place?
Now you can agree or disagree with me, and at the end of the day, it’s your life. You decide whether you want to keep your ex’s nudes or not. That being said, I think you SHOULD NOT keep them and just delete them. Former lovers are former lovers for a reason.
And c’mon now, don’t just settle for leftover nudes from something that’s ended, get out there and find someone new! DO BETTER!
