Friendships come and go, whether you like it or not.
Losing a friend can be as painful as ending a romantic relationship. Most of us have definitely ended a friendship or lost touch with a BFF at some point in our lives. You may have moved to a different location, or merely grown apart. But sometimes, the reason for a friendship dying is red flags.
Friendships are a two-way street, and you shouldn’t be the only one making an effort. But if you’ve tried to talk to your friend and their behaviour hasn’t changed despite your efforts, it could be time to call it quits. Here are seven indications that a friendship should end.
They don’t respect your boundaries
These days, the word “boundaries” seems to be increasingly trendy, but what does that mean in terms of friendships? How can you tell when someone is violating your boundaries? For instance, your friend enjoys looking through your belongings like your phone or handbag. They simply won’t stop and disregarding the boundaries you set up, no matter how many times you have told them that you don’t like it. That’s why determining limits early on in the friendship and being upfront and honest about who you are will help you connect in a healthy way.
They guilt trip you
Guilt trips will be used by a manipulative buddy to satisfy their wants. If this behaviour only sometimes occurs, it could be worthwhile to discuss it with the offender to determine whether they are even aware of it. Offer your friend the chance to alter their behaviour because they occasionally do this without realising it. However, if it persists, it could be challenging to keep the friendship going. Furthermore, it is unacceptable if they make an effort to guilt-trip or coerce you into beginning a diet, using substances, or participating in activities you find uncomfortable.
They don’t reach out to you
Leave if you are the only one who asks to hang out and they act as though they are doing you a favour. We’re pretty sure you’ve got a friend who doesn’t often reply to texts, let alone in your friend group chat. Every time they did, though, it was never a definitive response; instead, they would say something like, “I think we can meet up on Friday, but I have to leave early. I might also be running late.” Sounds familiar?
They create or attract drama
If your friend’s world is filled with drama all the time, it might be bad for your friendship. For a short period, having pals like this could seem exciting because things are always happening, but it soon becomes apparent that turmoil always follows these people. You can also see that the relationships in their life look unhealthy or disorganized. The worst part is that eventually, you’ll stop being a bystander and join the turmoil.
They disrespect your time
If no one values your time, that is most definitely a BIG red flag. Not to mention those who abruptly cancel on you without warning. We’re not referring to the occasional change in plans brought on by a broken-down car or a case of food poisoning. We’re referring to the friend who, for all practical purposes, can never confirm plans and practically never arrives on time, never apologises for being late, and just keeps cancelling on you. Simply ignore them; they don’t merit your time or effort.
They’re only your friend when it’s convenient
They might be using you if they suddenly get in touch with you after months of being silent and they just so happen to be in your city and need a place to crash! Since they are only ever present when they require something from you, you don’t need them in your life.
They don’t keep your secrets
To the same extent that you want to be able to trust your friend, you also want to ensure that they respect your privacy. Many of the topics you discuss won’t be particularly private, so it’s generally okay for your friend to tell their other pals. But any decent buddy will respect your wishes if you make it obvious that you don’t want a certain thing discussed. If not, simply depart.
