Whether it’s your favourite drama on HBO, or a movie about BDSM, we’ve all seen those steamy scenes where two characters finally come together and engage in hyper realistic (fake) sexual acts. However, ever wondered how these scenes came to be? Well, as with everything else these days, there are plenty of answers on TikTok, many of which come from the user @intimacycoordinator, a.k.a Jessica Steinrock, who is just one of the many intimacy coaches who are contracted to work on sets after the #MeToo movement, making sure that actors are comfortable when filming steamy love scenes.
On her TikTok page, she reveals everything there is to know about coordinating a spicy scene on set. Today, we’re going to be taking a deep dive into her page and learn everything there is to know about how sex scenes are created on TV.
What Do Intimacy Coordinators Do On Set?
An intimacy coordinator facilitates, choreographs, and establishes boundaries for actors during scenes that involve intimacy, from kissing all the way to full-on sex scenes. Their job is to make sex scenes feel more believable. According to Steinrock, intimacy coordinators work on any scenes involving simulated sex, genital contact, intense kissing and anything involving nudity, making sure that everything is done with consent.
How Do You Make Sex Scenes Look So Real On TV?
Of course, Steinrock did not hesitate on sharing some titillating tricks from her trade as a sex coordinator on film sets. In one video, she talked about the various items used on set to create a barrier between the actors, and how those items are “mood killers” for spicy scenes. In the video, she holds up items such as nipple covers, a strapless thong, roll tape, and a ‘modesty pouch’, which male actors have to wear over their crotch while sex scenes are filmed.
In another video, she revealed exactly how not-sexy some scenes were, like if the director wanted to film a sex scene where the camera angle is positioned upwards, towards whoever is on top, the actors would actually sit on a medicine ball to stimulate sexual movement, rather than actually ‘riding’ their co-star. Yeah, this would definitely kill any sort of ‘mood’ on set.
@intimacycoordinator Crazy trick for filming 🌶 scenes on TV! #intimacycoordinator #tvshow #filmtok
While it’s common practice for actors to use a barrier during sex scenes, there’s the question of whether the barrier is still required if the actors are dating IRL. According to Steinrock, when it comes to safety during intimate scenes, intimacy coordinators don’t just look at actor consent. “We’re also looking at consent between the cast and crew, directors, producers, etc.” And according to the actors union rule, any actors who are involved during the simulated sex scene has to have a barrier, whether or not they’re dating, or whether or not they’re fine with it. “This protects actors from coercion, where it could just be the rule, and no one needs to decide yes or no,” she continued, “- and it also protects the crew, who didn’t consent to watching real sex acts that day.”
@intimacycoordinator Replying to @𝐀𝐢𝐦𝐳 ♡ Do actors have to use a barrier if theyre dating irl? #intimacycoordinator #consent #365days #365dni #outlander #bridgerton
♬ Say So (Instrumental Version) [Originally Performed by Doja Cat] – Elliot Van Coup
According to Steinrock, they also have to deal with the complex grey area of what happens if two actors fall in love on set and become genuinely physically attracted to each other, or it could just be a leftover from the intensity of filming romantic scenes together. While some “vascular reactions” can happen on set, where actors have to take a short break to cool down before things get too heated up, Steinrock says “they probably happen a lot less than you think”. But that’s exactly what intimacy coordinators are here for! They help make sex scenes look real while making sure the actors are comfortable and no boundaries are crossed.
Are Intimacy Coordinators Necessary?
There’s no question that people are endlessly curious about this area of a film production, and Steinrock’s page is filled with videos that explain exactly what she does as an intimacy coordinator. However, it’s not always as glamorous as it seems to be. In an interview she did with Cosmopolitan, she revealed that there are two major downsides to her job. The first being the long and tiring working hours on set, “There have been times when I’m on set for 12 hours on a concrete pad waiting to do a sex scene in a car at night and it’s cold”. The other worst part is people questioning the validity of her role, “… I have to defend my own existence on a set, because people don’t understand why my job is so necessary.” As she states in another video, “… at the end of the day, we can’t ignore the power dynamics that are on set, no matter how well-meaning the director is, actors will always have a hard time saying no to them. So isn’t a double-check just good practice?”
@intimacycoordinator #gInteresting how the interview is also about something completely different… but media went with this headline…. #intimacycoordinator #actor #consent
The reality is, intimacy coordination is changing the way the TV and film industry work. From ensuring actors are comfortable in intimate scenes to working with the director on the choreography of a sex scene, they do it all. “One of the crucial things an intimacy coordinator brings to the process is that they are the person who is there to think about all the things that need to be considered when we are going to do a scene like this,” says intimacy coordinator Claire Warden.
Follow us on Instagram, Facebook or Telegram for more updates and breaking news.
