“ME TIME” Review: Quite Possibly Kevin Hart’s Secret Villain Origin Story

One of the funniest people on the planet, Mr Kevin Hart has long lit up screens with his jovial, loud personality. Oh yes, he’s been the butt of many short jokes, but his comeback roasts are something only his comedic wit can churn up. This is the guy who is only half of Dwayne Johnson’s height, yet he manages to barbecue up that hunky rock till it becomes a blob of minerals.

There is no doubt that Hollywood has unlocked a certain code with Kevin. But hear us out, how long will it be till the man himself actually becomes a villain? And with Netflix’s latest comedy “ME TIME”, we think he could be transformed into a devourer of worlds in the Multiverse now.

“ME TIME” follows Sonny (Kevin Hart), who is a stay-at-home dad. He runs the house well but rarely has time for himself. On the other hand, his wife, Maya (Regina Hall), is the sole breadwinner of the house, working on architecture for high-profile clients.

It’s not often that we see househusbands in movies actually being good at it. Indeed, Sonny’s two children liken him to the glue of the household. He pretty much gets to control the flow of the house.

Nevertheless, everyone has weaknesses, and Sonny’s is that he’s insecure. He’s afraid of what society thinks of him due to his wife being the sole breadwinner. That is why he spends his weekdays volunteering in his kids’ school. He sits in classes attempting to get the children to pay attention. And of course, he tries his best to prove himself by handling the school’s talent gala.

It’s been a repetitive lifestyle and soon, Sonny and Maya come to a point where they realise that they both need a change of pace. At first, Sonny is hesitant about the idea but gets fully on with it it. He’s in need of that “me time”.

So, of course, what does a middle-aged father do for a week while his kids are away on vacation with their mother? Maybe something along the lines of BBQ and uhm… golf… and other weird kinks. So, to spice things up, he checks in with his friend Huck (Mark Wahlberg), who had been pestering Sonny to join his wild 44th birthday party for a while now. And from then, the hijinks start rolling.

Oh, yea, we’re talking mountain lion wrestling, tortoise stompin’, running from loan sharks… (there’s a theme here and we’ll get back to that later). You see, Huck has a reputation for being over-the-top when it comes to his celebrations. In an awkward opening scene, Sonny unintentionally wing glides with Huck over a canyon after getting pushed off from a helicopter whirring close by. Therefore, Sonny knew damn well what he was getting into. Yet, nothing would be as chaotic as this.

Indeed, the film is a mess as it attempts to balance the buddy-comedy vibe with the chaos of its subplots. There’s just way too much going on that makes little to no sense thematically. Most of the plot exists for the sake of being shockingly random. Not to say that there is no set-up whatsoever, but the formula used here is rather clunky as it’s just getting Kevin Hart to say Kevin Hart things as he’s pushed into a pool or climbing cliffs or whatsoever.

Having Huck around feels like an afterthought, to be honest. Huck’s deluded to the core but he’s got a genuine heart and he just wants to partehhh. However, Wahlberg’s character gets into some financial trouble and gets a loan from Jimmy O. Yang’s loan shark. It’s weird because he’s always spending money that he doesn’t have and there’s no connection to how he’s been able to keep this up without his friends at least propping him up financially.

Furthermore, even when Sonny is actually trying to be the society man, it makes even less sense as he’s always barking orders at his son to practice the piano only because he wants to make sure the school event he helped organise turns out well with his son playing “A Thousand Miles” by Vanessa Carlton as the closer. Phew, that was a mouthful but yes, it was as complicated as that.

Indeed, the movie overcomplicates and it feels more like the film’s committee was pressing a randomizer when coming up with the final cut. It’s all over the place and the final message feels utterly throwaway but it’s not to say that it isn’t entertaining. It’s a collection of skits that shine with the comedic delivery of Kevin and even Mark, who seems much less annoying on-screen than he used to be five years ago.

With its appalling literal poop jokes on more than one occasion, “ME TIME” is unabashedly daft. But hey, we’ve watched enough dumb flicks to sort the peas (read with doubled ‘s’) from the crabs (read with a ‘p’ instead). With some booze and chips, it still would be a hella good time.

Now, of course, back to what we were trying to bring up. It has been proven time and again that Kevin Hart, professional comedian and generous donor of laughs, is absolutely… and we mean UTTERLY terrified of wild animals.

He’s appeared on the Today Show where he displayed a phobia of the lizard they pulled out while his “Ride Along” co-star Ice Cube was all chill. And when Robert Irwin popped up on the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, that man was spooked out of his living daylights due to the accompanying menagerie.

“It was not an act at all… that was completely genuine”, Robert said as he reminisced on his strange encounter on the show back in 2018. “I actually said ‘g’day’ to him backstage… and he jumped a mile”.

Of course, there’s the irony of having Kevin play animals in animated films like “The Secret Life of Pets” and the recent “DC League of Superpets”. But that doesn’t count because that’s not the real deal man. When you have Kevin Hart performing CPR on tortoises, getting his back scratched by feral beasts, almost getting trampled by ostriches,

It may only be a matter of time… before the former shoe salesman turned comedian becomes a powerful warlord. You heard it here first. This is just the beginning and he’s gonna snap soon and hard.

Who knows? Maybe when Kevin Hart fights a rampaging rhino? Or Kevin Hart vs a dolphin? We could go on man. Maybe a little horror film where Mr Hart gets hunted by a bunch of killer capybaras who pull up in his house singing a high-pitched rendition of the 2020 Don Toliver classic “After Party”. That’s sure gonna break him…

Evil Kevin Hart, bring it on!! Say it with us. “EVIL”. “KEVIN” “EVIL”. “KEVIN”. “EVIL”. “KEVIN”… (fades*)

“ME TIME” is currently streaming on Netflix.

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