Chrissy Teigen and John Legend recently lost their 3rd child, lovingly named Jack, due to pregnancy complications.
Ever since her tragic miscarriage, Chrissy has decided to stay off social media while she grieved her unborn child. However, the cookbook author is now ready to be within the public’s eye again as she wrote a very long and heartfelt essay about her difficult experience and loss.
Her essay on the aftermath of losing their baby was posted on Medium. This touching message started off with the very personal lines, reading:
“Hi. I had no idea when I would be ready to write this. Part of me thought it would be early on, when I was still really feeling the pain of what happened. I thought I would sit in the corner of my bedroom with the lights dimmed, just rolling off my thoughts. I’d have a glass of red wine, cozy up with a blanket, and finally get the chance to address ‘what happened’.”
“Instead, I’m writing from the downstairs couch, still cozied up in a blanket but buzzing from a morning of friends and fried chicken,” continued the 34-year-old former model. “I’m reading off countless notes from my phone — thoughts that have randomly popped up in the weeks since”
“I didn’t really know how I would start this, no matter the room or state I was in, but it feels right to begin with a thank you.”
“For weeks, our floors have been covered in flowers of kindness. Notes have flooded in and have each been read with our own teary eyes. Social media messages from strangers have consumed my days, most starting with, ‘you probably won’t read this, but…’ I can assure you, I did,” wrote the grateful wife and mother.
Chrissy then goes onto explaining exactly what caused the unfortunate miscarriage and the “utter and complete sadness” that came with it. “My bleeding was getting heavier and heavier. The fluid around Jack had become very low — he was barely able to float around,” explained the “Lip Sync Battle” host. “At some points, I swore it was so low I could lay on my back and feel his arms and legs from outside my belly.”
The Hollywood A-lister describes how both she and the doctors tried their best to hold onto the little guy and keep him safe. Sadly, their attempts had not been successful and the time had come to let Jack go. “After a couple nights at the hospital, my doctor told me exactly what I knew was coming — it was time to say goodbye. He just wouldn’t survive this, and if it went on any longer, I might not either.”
“Late one night, I was told it would be time to let go in the morning. I cried a little at first, then went into full blown convulsions of snot and tears, my breath not able to catch up with my own incredibly deep sadness,” wrote the author of “Cravings”. “Even as I write this now, I can feel the pain all over again. Oxygen was placed over my nose and mouth, and that was the first picture you saw. Utter and complete sadness.”
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Chrissy boldly and bravely shared about her pregnancy loss on Instagram before she went quiet on social media for a while. There were many who appreciated her pure honesty and vulnerability, while there were also some who criticised her for sharing such personal moments.
Here’s what the TV personality had to say in response to the naysayers: “I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos. How little I care that it’s something you wouldn’t have done. I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos aren’t for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like.”
“These photos are only for the people who need them. The thoughts of others do not matter to me.”
Phew I just had a full on panic attack of more tear snot just knowing anyone read this. I’ve missed you all terribly. pic.twitter.com/A38rDfyms3
— chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) October 27, 2020
Chrissy also posted a tweet soon after she published this heartbreaking essay, reading “Phew I just had a full on panic attack of more tear snot just knowing anyone read this. I’ve missed you all terribly.”
We missed you too, Chrissy. Thank you for being so honest and open with us.