So, picture this: you’re woken up from the best sleep you’ve had in months by your blaring alarm clock. You reach out, trying to shut it up, only to realise that it isn’t your first time doing so this morning – and that you’re already late. “Quickly now,” you say to your still-sleeping legs, while hopping into the shower and out the door afterwards. While briskly walking down the hall of your apartment block, you fight the absolute forest that your hair has become while running a comb through it. “I should not have skipped on the conditioner today,” you mutter. As you reach the elevator, you dig through your bags and pockets only to realise you’d forgotten your keys, I.D., and other essentials. “What is wrong with me today?” you fume, just in time for you to notice your neighbours and other residents of your building.
Once in a while, whether you actively fuel it or not, talking to yourself is completely normal. Though getting caught in the act of doing so can be a bit embarrassing and is often stigmatised as a precursor or a sign of mental health problems, everyone, from young to old, participates in this behaviour one way or another, every day.
Talking To Ourselves: Then Till Now
Self-talk doesn’t mean having a verbal conversation with yourself; it also often refers to the narration inside your head, also known as inner speech. These can range from personal conversations directed at oneself to reflections throughout the day. Psychologists believe our first experiences with self-talk were vocal ones during our childhood, as children often speak to themselves out loud when they play.
Other psychologists hypothesised that children speaking to themselves is actually a key part of their development, something they mimic from adults to better understand their emotions and behaviours. As they grow older, this verbal communication slowly becomes more internalised.
Humans: The Most Social Of Social Creatures
We know that this internal dialogue is important, as it helps people plan in advance or navigate through a difficult predicament in the present. Though scientists have yet to fully research the hows and whys of self-talk, they have researched some of its effects, like how it can actually motivate you, increase self-esteem, and boost focus. Like talking to another person can decrease stress, depending on how you speak to yourself, it can actually have a variety of other effects as well. Just as there is self-dialogue, there is also distance self-talk, a scenario where you address yourself as another person. Another study states that this manner of self-talk is beneficial for tackling tasks that induce incredible amounts of stress.
But just as positive self-talk can be beneficial, negative self-talk can make things worse. Oftentimes, with continuous practise of this self-destructive behaviour, it could lead to a collapse of self-esteem, potentially resulting in depression. Thankfully, there are therapists to correct that as well. So when you catch yourself talking to yourself, a general reminder is to be kind, as that person you’re staring at in the mirror every day is your companion throughout life’s many challenges.
