Trying to follow a hyper-productive morning routine when you’re not a morning person?
That’s the express lane to burnout. Instead of copy-pasting someone else’s 5am fantasy, build a routine that actually works for you – one that helps you feel human before 9am.
Start The Night Before
If you’ve ever stared into the void while deciding what to wear, you already know: mornings are not for making decisions. So do future-you a favour – prep the basics the night before.
Here’s your low-effort, high-payoff evening checklist:
- Lay out your clothes for the next day
- Put your essentials (keys, wallet, bag) somewhere obvious
- Charge your phone away from your bed (just trust the process)
- Set your water bottle or vitamins where you’ll see them
- Check the weather, peek at your calendar, and mentally brace yourself
Think of this as self-care dressed up as laziness. You’re not too lazy to function – you’re just strategic enough to function ahead of time.
3 Morning Routines Based On How Much You Hate Today
Let’s be real: your energy isn’t the same every morning. So why should your routine be?
5-Minute Survival Mode (The Bare Minimum)
- Splash your face
- Brush your teeth
- Grab your drink
- Take three calming breaths
- Whisper “You’ve got this” and go
15-Minute Functional Human Routine
- 5 minutes of stretching or walking around
- 5 minutes to shower, brush, dress
- 5 minutes for a quick drink or bite
- Glance at your calendar and pretend to care
30-Minute “I Slept Well For Once” Routine
- 10 minutes of movement (light exercise or dancing in your towel)
- 10 minutes for a real breakfast
- 5 minutes to tidy one small area
- 5 minutes to write or mentally plan your priorities
You don’t need to do them all. Rotate based on vibes.
If You’re Gonna Look At Your Phone, Do It Smartly
Look – we all check our phones in the morning. The key is to make it useful, not chaotic.
- Keep your phone across the room so you have to get up
- Set an alarm with a song you actually like (no trauma sounds)
- Prep a playlist or podcast that eases you into the day
And if you can, delay the doom scroll. Give yourself 30 minutes. Use that phone to check the weather or glance at your calendar – because let’s be honest, you’re already cutting it close.
Willpower Is Overrated – Systems Are Everything
Morning people don’t have superpowers – they just have systems that do the thinking for them.
- Use a timed coffee maker
- Place your water bottle somewhere visible
- Stack your habits (stretch while your drink’s brewing, etc.)
- Keep a “bad morning” backup plan (a go-to outfit, instant breakfast, etc.)
And most importantly: celebrate the small wins. Brushed your teeth? Win. Got dressed? Win. Survived another weekday intro? You’re doing great.
How To Know Your Morning’s Working
You don’t need a 12-step routine or an ice bath to start strong. A good morning = feeling clean, hydrated, dressed, and not panicking as you head out the door. If mornings usually feel like a tornado, just start small. Lay out your clothes the night before. Prep your bag. Pick one habit to add at a time.
The goal isn’t to be a productivity robot – it’s just to feel somewhat normal before 9am. And that’s more than enough.
