For someone with never-ending goals of finding the perfect work-life balance, setting aside intentional time for a solo date is how one can manage to stay afloat amidst all the chaos. Simply put, me-time allows you to put your life on pause, relax, and enjoy your own company. Plus, from personal experience, there’s nothing quite like hitting the town (enjoying a quiet evening at the hybrid bookstore-cafe) by yourself.
Now, thanks to social media, the concept of me-time has been incredibly romanticised. More women (and men) are catching on to the idea and documenting it all on video. TikTok and YouTube videos with titles such as “Come On A Solo Date With Me” and “Taking Myself On A Solo Date” are usually filled with matcha lattes, a trip to a market, or an exhibition, and artful flat lays.
@vibewithfiii my own company 💌 #alonetime #dateswithmyself #soloactivities #solodateideas #minivlog
So it’s no secret there’s been a cultural shift towards valuing independence and self-discovery. According to Dr Natalie V Bailey, a psychologist based in London, spending quality time alone can be a valuable tool in our mental health kit. “Solo dating is all about self-love, self-discovery, growth and empowerment,” she says. “It’s an invitation; a time to discover more about yourself without the noise and the influence of others.”
That said, if you’re new to solo dating, being comfortable in your own company is not a skill you can develop overnight. It requires conscious effort and dedication towards yourself. For some, the first few solo dates that you’re on all by yourself can be uncomfortable, but once you get in the groove and understand how important it is to prioritise time with yourself, you will want to be left alone. Here are a few other ways to enjoy your own company:
Practise self-care
On a regular day, our time and energy go into spending time with other people. They’re your family, colleagues, friends, employer, romantic partner, or even people on the street. And as a result, you have no time for yourself.
Thanks to our crazy lives and endless to-do lists, we can often overlook the fact that our bodies and minds need some TLC to recuperate and keep up with the pace that’s demanded of us. You could do some skincare, journal, buy flowers, cook your favourite meal or do whatever else makes you feel light and happy! This can help you build a more compassionate relationship with yourself.
Live in the moment
It’s easier said than done, right? Considering the digital distractions we have these days, it’s easy to fill up the time you have with yourself with random activities like doom-scrolling or re-watching your favourite show for the 99th time (#guilty).
So when you do have time alone, try to keep all your screens aside and be truly present in the moment. Whether you’re taking a casual daytime stroll in a park or embarking on an outdoor hike, this will give you some clarity, break you away from unhealthy patterns, and allow you to engage in activities you enjoy without having to worry about others.
Say ‘No’ and set boundaries
For some, knowing when and how to say ‘no’ is tough. However, doing so can give one greater control over their life and prevent them from becoming more tired, stressed and mentally drained.
Setting clear boundaries with others and listening to your body more can lead you to a life you actually want to be present for and will eventually gain you some me-time. And if you’re starting to run on empty, don’t be tempted to take on more.
All in all, your relationship with yourself is one of the most important relationships you will have. Prioritise and make space for you. When you start enjoying your company and accepting yourself, you don’t seek that from external sources. It’s a form of self-care that allows you to honour your relationship with yourself.
