Nobody is born an adult. All that we now know, the person that we are today, and the way we process and internalise events, are all based on our early years, and all of that experience is followed by the existence of an “inner child” that can be found in each of us.
You know that inner voice that occasionally surfaces when we are faced with particular circumstances? Your inner child might emerge at the strangest moments. For example, your sad 7-year-old self might surface when you believe your best friend is avoiding you or your misunderstood 16-year-old self when you and your partner are at odds.
This is all due to the fact that unpleasant childhood memories frequently follow us into adulthood. This is what we refer to as “inner child wounds,” which can happen whenever a traumatic event occurs or a persistent rupture occurs without repair. For children, a wound without repair can look like crying out for help – but being unheard by an emotionally unavailable caretaker.
If you experienced neglect, trauma or other forms of mental, emotional and physical trauma, then your inner child might seem small, defenseless and in need of protection. Many of us have given in to hiding this deeply ingrained hurt, in an effort to protect both our present self and the child we once were.
But the truth of the matter is that covering up any kind of grief or pain does neither mend nor heal it. You may discover that it frequently reappears in your adult life, manifesting as relationship conflict or a struggle to meet your own needs.
Why Is Healing Your Inner Child Important?
Even while we exist as adults, our inner child is still with us and it is often that part of our personality that responds to challenges. This means that if you were hurt as an 8-year-old, whether it was a basic or complicated trauma, your adult responses to comparable situations will be those of your 8-year-old self because that wound was never fully healed.
We frequently react from that wounded place when those wounds weren’t acknowledged or addressed. In other words, as adults, we react out of trauma rather than to the environment we are in.
By healing your inner child, you begin to create the safety, security and stability and to nurture your younger self always needed – as a result, your inner child’s positive characteristics have more room to show. You discover your natural gifts and talents, your inner curiosity, and your limitless capacity to love. Healing your inner child is just one of the ways to connect with your younger self and provide them with the comfort they craved but lacked at the time.
It’s a long process, but here are 5 simple tips that can be good starting points:
1. Acknowledge Your Inner Child
Your inner child is a part of your subconscious mind that experienced and still remembers your childhood moments – both good and bad. It is not a “childlike” personality.
Acknowledging your inner child can make them feel safer; it’s a simple way of reminding them that you’re looking out for them and sending them your love.
2. Hug Yourself Daily
Even if your conscious mind doesn’t have the capacity or words to talk about it, the body remembers trauma. Supportive physical touch can help you soothe and nurture your inner child. Holding your inner child can and will bring them comfort – the same way you’d hug a friend who’s crying.
Take a look at the butterfly hug here. It is a self-soothing exercise designed to help people process trauma and is a technique used by trauma therapists.
3. Mirror Work
Negative comments such as ‘I don’t matter,’ or ‘I’m not good enough,’ are often formed when mistreatment or abuse happen in your childhood years. Mirror work can help you surpass these narratives and instead, work on develop a loving connection with yourself.
All you need to do is look at yourself in the mirror each day and make powerful healing statements such as:
“I matter.”
“What I want matters.”
“I am good enough.”
4. Write A Letter To Your Inner Child
This can be another form of journaling which is known to have mental health benefits. Try writing a letter to your younger self, offering all the words of support you needed at that time.
State the words in your letter and then read them out and loud. Read and acknowledge all the words you wished you would have heard with love, kindness, and compassion.
5. Identify Your Emotional Triggers
Take notice of the things that make you instantly upset, angry, or fearful and ask yourself this question: “Can I trace this back to a negative experience in my childhood?”
Maybe your parent never properly listened to you, so now you feel rejected whenever your partner is too busy to give you any attention.
When you can identify where this pain originated from, you can also reassure your inner child and let them know that it’s different now and they are safe, loved, and heard.
The Next Steps
Inner child work may be appropriate for you if you went through trauma as a young child, especially if your parents or your home situation were involved. With the help of this therapy practice, you can ultimately connect with your genuine, authentic self by working through the coping mechanisms you’ve acquired along the way.
If you have gone through trauma, you might want to speak with a mental health specialist. There are numerous trauma therapies that are useful in reducing post-traumatic stress. Contact a therapist who specialises in inner child treatment if you believe it could benefit you.
