When it comes to salaries, some believe it should remain a lifelong secret, while others argue that it isn’t something to be overly concerned about sharing, even with family members. In Malaysia, revealing salary details can sometimes strain relationships, with reports of bonds turning sour after such information was disclosed, leading to conflicts that affected even close, long-standing relationships.
Earlier this week, a Malaysian Twitter user sparked a conversation on this issue by reposting a comment suggesting that it’s best to keep personal information private. The user, known as @/hizwani, shared his own perspective by saying, “Last week I had a chat session with five graduates who have been working for a year. Another three people with 3-4 years of experience also joined.” He added, “One thing I want to advise is that as you go along in your career, you don’t have to tell your parents your salary. The three seniors who joined also agreed.”
In the post, it is hinted that sharing financial details with parents could lead to a range of reactions, from subtle disappointment to outright financial demands. While many parents don’t actively seek their children’s income details, some may still feel entitled to know or to receive financial support. His advice points to the tension between traditional expectations and modern boundaries, especially in a society that emphasises filial responsibility and the moral duty to provide for parents as they age.
The post resonated widely, quickly gaining traction and sparked discussions, with many users expressing their agreement. One commenter emphasised the pressure of sandwich culture, where adults—often in their 30s or 40s—bear the financial responsibility of supporting both their children and their ageing parents. This situation, deeply rooted in Malaysian family values, places a heavy burden on working adults, often leaving little room for personal savings or investments.
Other comments reflected varied experiences. Some users expressed gratitude, noting that their parents never asked about their salary or demanded financial support, which made them more inclined to give willingly. Some mentioned feeling comfortable sharing their salary details, as they have strong trust and open relationships with their family members. However, one user recounted negative experiences, stating that after their parents learnt of their income, they began making unreasonable financial demands.
Keeping personal information private, especially salary details, can sometimes be a wise choice, particularly if it could compromise personal boundaries or security. Ultimately, deciding whether to disclose such details depends on the level of trust and dynamics within each family.
What do you think about this issue? Should we feel obligated to disclose our salary to our parents?
Sakinah contributed to this article.
