Growing up a woman means observing the men in your life. It means knowing who can be trusted and who can’t. It means knowing who is safe and who isn’t. And even then, there’s always a possibility you are wrong. So, what do you do when a man, whom you trust, in your life expresses intent to hurt another woman? Do you side with him? Or with your fellow sister?
Recently, a clip of local celeb Fauzi Nawawi went viral as he openly discussed a rape scene involving another celeb, Raja Farah. The discussion caused backlash from the public as the actor was condemned for his words. Although he has since apologised, netizens are still going after the actor and his family. The two women in his life are handling the matter differently, but both have expressed a belief that Fauzi can change.
Fauzi’s wife, actress Lisdawati, and daughter, Hanna Faresha have been struggling in the aftermath of the fallout. Aside from their husband and father being called out publicly for his words, netizens have also condemned the family by association. According to Hanna, they have received comments and DMs (direct messages) which have slandered and swore at them.
Lisdawati (real name: Nisdawati Nazaruddin) has proven her mettle as a wife by continuing to stay by her husband’s side even with the damning controversy. Yesterday (21st October), Fauzi professed his intention to change in an Instagram post. Lisdawati threw her support behind him by openly declaring her love for him. “Because of (God), (I) still love (you). But I am still a regular human,” the actress wrote. “I cannot bring myself to forgive those who insult, despise and slander my family and I until they apologise to me.”
In her own post, Lisdawati made it clear that the matter was over. “All parties involved have already apologised. There has been regret and guilt,” she said. “As God’s servant, everyone has not run from their mistakes. May God forgive all our sins.” She also included a quote which highlighted how condemning others for their sin would come back to bite them.
Hanna on the other hand, has been more subtle but no less certain in her support of her father. “I humbly apologise for my father’s mistake,” she began in her Instagram story. “As I woman, I too do not agree with what he has said. I hope this mistake will be a lesson to everyone, especially to my family.”
However, Hanna has made it clear that the matter should lie between her father and those involved, that is Raja Farah and her husband. “I was not there when it happened, nor am I involved in any way,” she wrote. “As such, let (my father) handle the matter with those affected. (I) hope this matter will no longer be magnified.” She also requested netizens stop harassing her and her family members.
She included an example of the harassment in her Instagram stories earlier today (21st October). A netizen left a scathing comment on one of her posts which ended with a threat. “Don’t be mad if (Fauzi’s) own child becomes a (sexual assault) victim to another man out there,” it said, directing it to the actor. Hanna calmly forgave the netizen for their crass comment and extended forgiveness to others who had intention of harming her. “I only (think) it’s better to stay silent than to continue sinning,” she added.
Fauzi may have taken responsibility for his words and actions, but his family is the one suffering the brunt with him. It’s true that rape should not be taken lightly, not even as a joke. However, if righteous anger becomes condemning flames, uncaring of who gets burnt, perhaps it would be better to think before speaking.