Our office is almost like our second home, our colleagues another annoying family that we put up with. We eat together, laugh together, cry together, break stuff together when things get too tense – but you cannot imagine life without them.
Just like ours, we’re sure your office is also filled with a bunch of people with different quirks and personalities. We love them, we hate them, sometimes we want to strangle them; but they’re all we’ve got to get through the day. They come all shapes, sizes, and dimensions – here are 13 types of colleagues you will surely identify with:
- The early bird
This person is the first one to arrive in the office and lives by the motto, “early to bed, early to rise, make a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.” In fact, this person is so early that they usually teman the cleaning aunty in the morning. If they are ever late, you’re convinced that something very, very bad has happened to them and proceed to file a “missing person” report.
2. The xoxo Gossip Girl
Every workplace has that one person who just loooooves dishing out details about others. They have very sharp eyes and excel at the science of deduction – just show them 1 Instagram photo of a colleague and they will “Sherlock Holmes” the shit out of it. They love hanging out by the coffee maker, just waiting for someone to walk by so they can share their ‘new findings’. Honestly, this person should be working with the FBI and help with solving crimes.
3. The joker
You know you can never have a serious conversation with this person because they end up saying the darnest things ever. No matter how tense the situation, they always manage to turn it around and find the humour in it. This is the person you feel like talking to after a long, hard day at work, because you know they are going to crack you up and make you feel better.
4. The social butterfly
For us introverts, we never know how this person does it. They can go up to literally anybody – even a new colleague – and start having a jovial conversation with them. This person can be BFFs with pretty much anybody. They build rapport instantly and know how to include everyone in the conversation. This is also the person who can sit anywhere in the office – next to ANYBODY – and still end up being the chatty one.
5. The one who punches out on the dot
If you ever need this person at 6.01 pm – forget it, you might as well be wishing for unicorns and for Liverpool to win the English Premier League. This person comes in at 9am sharp and leaves at 6pm sharp – and there’s no other way around it.
6. The happy hour junkie
This is the colleague who knows all the bars in town and knows all the happy hour promos by heart – they’re more reliable than Google and TimeOut. This is the person who must hit the bar after work – because life is too short to just go home and be lazy in your PJs. They’re always trying to rope in people for happy hour, so you’ll probably find them at your desk at 6:01 pm convincing you to go out tonight.
7. The one who stays back until 1 am every day
In case you ever forgot anything in the office, you know you can head back there even at 11pm because this nocturnal colleague is still there. This person has breakfast, lunch, dinner, and supper in the office – they’re there when you arrive and still there when you leave – they’re just ALWAYS there. You won’t be surprised if they actually had a sleeping bag stashed in the office somewhere.
8. The one who never looks up from the screen
This colleague never looks up or talk to anybody; you can’t even remember when was the last time you heard their voice. They barely look up from the screen. Sometimes you forget that this person is even there. You wonder what’s going on in their head – how is it even possible to remain silent for 9 hours straight and not talk to anybody? But then again, this person causes zero problems or drama in the office, so perhaps they’re not so bad after all.
9. The annoying couple
The couple who come in wearing matching clothes and go for lunch together everyday. You dare not sit next to this person during company events, because you know that seat is reserved. One day they’re all cute and clingy, and the next day they refuse to look at each other because they had a fight – and it gets awkward for everyone else because you have a project to work on together and you can’t proceed when two people don’t want to look each other in the face. So more often than not, you resort to being the couple’s therapist.
10. The ultimate breaker of rules
You don’t know whether to hate this person or to idolise this person. They are always running late, they show up in their PJs with their hair in a mess and yet they still get things done – and more surprisingly – still around.
11. The guy who fixes everything
It’s true, not all heroes wear capes, sometimes they’re simply wearing a pair of jeans and sweater. When the wifi is down, this guy knows exactly what to do, what cables to tweak, and how to get it up and running within minutes – which means you don’t have to wait hours for the technicians to arrive. Forgot to bring your charger? This guy has every Apple and Android charger under the sun. Your phone is lagging? He knows exactly how to fix it up as good as new. Seriously, what would we do without this guy?
12. The one who is always red-carpet ready
She lives life in the fab lane. She struts into the office in her platform heels and hoop earrings, sunglasses resting on her head, a cup of Starbucks in one hand and her brand new phone in the other. She is manicured from head to toe, dressed to kill, and her make-up somehow stays on forever – even in the scorching hot Malaysian weather. She has over a thousand followers on Instagram, has 300+ likes on all her photos with the hashtag #wanderlust.
13. The Ninja
No one sees this person coming or leaving. One minute he’s there, then he’s gone. Then he appears again and vanish out into thin air. You try to confront him about his Mr. Invisible superpowers, but of course you can’t because he disappeared before you can even broach the question.