Part III: Fifty Shades Freed

We thought we’d never finish reading about all the kinky f*ckery and Anastasia’s “inner goddess” doing backflips, pirouettes, yoga, you name it. Three books later, Anastasia is no longer as innocent as she first started out to be (for obvious reasons).

As a matter of fact, we’re pretty sure that if we were to compare the first chapter of the “Fifty Shades of Grey” and the last few chapters of “Fifty Shades Freed”, we’d be in for a shock all over again.

As always, it would take a lot of page-flipping to get past all that sex before you get to the more important details – the plot. And lucky you, we’re saving you all that trouble by listing down some key take outs:

1. By now, the plot is so thick that it’s hard to flip through the pages quickly. The story, however, is still dotted with lots of cheesy “romantic” lines back and forth from Anastasia to Christian and vice versa, coupled with all that sex and some shaving. Entertaining much?
2. Christian is significantly less mysterious now that Anastasia has successfully “broken” him. Boy, he’s really in love with her. He has even allowed her to touch him more although he still winces every single time.
3. They get married. Yay!
4. In this installment, “Mrs. Robinson” is no longer just “Mrs. Robinson”. Ana has gotten creative and has started calling her “Mrs. Elena Bitch Troll Robinson”. Geez. But we don’t blame her (surprise, surprise!). “Mrs. Elena Bitch Troll Robinson” just doesn’t know when to quit anyway and her persistence was beginning to annoy even us.
5. Both Christian and Anastasia find themselves suddenly having to deal with a psycho murderer sexual predator type ex-boss of Anastasia’s. They get involved with a – get this – car chase. Yes! Finally some real Hollywood-type car action! Except, the real Hollywood-type car action was so intense that it suddenly becomes “the other type of Hollywood-type car action”. Typical.
6. The “worst” thing that could ever happen to Ana happens. She tells Christian, he reacts with raging madness. As in raging, non-BDSM-inducing, boiling anger, mad madness. Christian storms out. Gets completely sloshed with none other than “Mrs. Elena Bitch Troll Robinson”. Ana finds out.
7. Just as she’s dealing with the worst thing that could ever happen to her, and Christian getting drunk in the company of “Mrs. Elena Bitch Troll Robinson”, she’s confronted with yet another threat to their marriage – the psycho murderer sexual predator type ex-boss. The confrontation lands her in the hospital and..

..wouldn’t you like to know what happens next?

It’s our nature to try to not completely spoil it for you so if you’d really, really like to find out, you’d just have to run helter-skelter into your nearest bookstore right now to grab the books!

The least we can tell you is, for a couple whose relationship kicked off only several months (was it?) before their actual wedding day, they certainly seem to have matured a lot by the third “Fifty Shades” book. And at first, it seemed like the entire trilogy was wrapped around just hot sex scenes and sequences but as the story develops, we realized that the tables were turned when the said hot sex scenes and sequences became just merely “fillers” to the story.

Perhaps to keep it interesting?

And aside from all that ridiculous amount of money coupled with the perfect loving families and friends, the “Fifty Shades” trilogy also exercises one important clichéd but popular phrase, “Love conquers all”.

Really, think about it when you read it.