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Home Events

Someone’s Stealing All Our Apples!

by Lainey
June 21, 2012
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Our supermarkets Mercato, AEON, and Cold Storage have all reported a sudden spike in their apples’ sales. But here’s the thing though, only one strange man contributed to the peculiar rise in demand (and sudden low in supply, of course). Apparently, he calls himself “Lord Somersby“.

We reckon he’s not Malaysian. With a  name like that, well, no. Definitely not.

Sniffing apples? Who does that? Weird just got weirders!

Luckily for us, we caught him while he was on the way out of his last stop, Cold Storage at The Gardens Mall, just the other day after receiving calls from frantic readers and supermarket employees.

Lord Somersby (or so he calls himself) swept the fruit section completely dry of both green and red apples! Outrage! Upon exiting the supermarket, we noticed that he was armed with bags and bags of the fruit. Without hesitating, we stopped him in his tracks and questioned his obsessive behaviour.

He babbled something about growing trees for more apples and juice and, really, he didn’t sound sober.

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He then broke into a little jig like a mad farmer and ran off in a hurry.

The Cold Storage employees then escorted us into their security room and shared with us a clip that turned up on the internet a week ago:

[youtube id=”PzcidSb0jVI” width=”600″ height=”350″]

Okay. That doesn’t answer any of our questions. We’re still puzzled.

What are your thoughts on this? Who is this man? Why is he stealing all our apples?

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