Toying With The Idea of Staying Single? Here Are 4 Things To Consider

Relationships are hard – even more so if it’s a romantic one. Many wonder, especially after a breakup, if they would be better off alone than with another person. It’s a complicated question with no clean-cut answer – an answer that will only come to someone after some experience or a long meditation.

A lot of people forget that staying single is just as much of a commitment as being with someone else, as you must devote your time and energy to yourself. There comes a point in time when everyone must choose to be with someone or by themselves – but most always struggle to make that choice. If you find yourself at these crossroads and don’t know where to go, here are some things to consider so you can make a well-informed decision about your future and the future of your partner or would-be future partner.

Are You Ready To Get Hurt?

To love is to acknowledge that you will get hurt, one way or another. You can’t have day without the possibility of night. It’s a fact of life, really. Hurting is normal, as a relationship isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. This kind of pain, especially when it involves a loved one, is always a bitter pill to swallow, as you’d never expect it, and it’s often the most agonising kind of pain. However, crying over or for someone is the best proof that you love them, but if you’re afraid of this kind of pain, then it would be best for both parties to steer clear of a relationship.

However, don’t mix this up with abuse, for that is a totally different thing and should not be tolerated under any circumstance.

Do You Want Love Or Are You Afraid Of Being Alone?

Love is often the driving force behind two people committing to each other and can be the reason they stay together. However, not all relationships are meant to be, which can be hard for a lot of people, especially for those who are stepping into the dating space for the first time. However, many cling on to dying relationships, thinking that it will give them the same joy as before. It’s at this point where you should evaluate whether or not you should be in this specific relationship or not, as you are only hurting yourself in the long run.

There is nothing wrong with being alone; being alone does not mean being lonely. Happiness will come, but forcing happiness is a slippery slope that you should best avoid. If you are unsure of your answer, it’s best to take things slow or reach out to a professional to better understand your feelings.

Are You Happy With Yourself?

This ties in with the point above, so let’s make this clear: If you’re looking for someone who will give you affection that you cannot give yourself, it’s best to rethink your mindset about dating. We’ve heard this over a million times before, but loving yourself is important – before you someone else. Putting yourself before others does not make you selfish because you are responsible for yourself and no one else. Don’t look for a partner whose only purpose is to validate you, because that would be quite narcissistic.

Why Being Single Isn’t So Bad

Being a proud single isn’t some code that means you can’t get a partner. Many people function better without a partner, and that’s okay, if not even better. Being single can be stressful, but so can being with the wrong person. Taking care of and prioritising yourself must always come first and is never a wrong choice. More opportunities arise when you are single – not just in love but maybe in your chosen profession or hobby. Plus, it’s much better and easier to take care of yourself than another person. Or even perhaps being single is the best case scenario for you, for whatever reason that may be.

Saying no to love now does not mean you are closing the door on romance forever; that is your choice, and you can choose when you are ready. Just remember to take care of yourself as you explore the possibilities for yourself.

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