Clifford The Big Red Dog Review: An A-paw-ling Live-Action Adaptation Of A Beloved Children’s Classic

All our 2000s peeps out there would have probably at some point caught an episode of “Clifford the Big Red Dog” on Disney Channel. While it wasn’t quite as iconic as other children’s programmes like “Bear in the Blue House” or “Teacher’s Pet”, the lovable crimson canine still has a place in our barely-beating cynical hearts. Watching Clifford and Emily get up to all sorts of misadventures before ending the episode with an after-school Pendidikan Moral lesson is what most of us remembered the series for.

The show didn’t have the insane mad-lad energy of shows like “Cow and Chicken” or “SpongeBob Squarepants”. A big part of its charm was Clifford’s gentle-giant sweetness and the general wholesome vibe that it brought to the table. In 2019, there was an attempt to bring Clifford back to the small screen with middling success. It seems that new series never quite took off.

Now Paramount Pictures brings us a live-action film adaptation of the animated classic in hopes of reviving interest. The question is: Does the film have enough fun and freshness to justify the cinematic treatment? Or should it have stayed in the past? Let’s find out!

Right off the bat, everyone who has ever seen films like “Bumblebee”, “E.T.” or “Free Willy” will immediately recognise the plot of this film. Emily is a kid who doesn’t fit in with the cool kids at school and feels all alone in the world. Then one day, fate in the form of a kindly old man sends the titular tiny red dog her way. In a less than a day, she forms a very intense bond with Clifford and this makes Clifford big…through the power of love. Don’t ask how because it’ll only get more frustrating. Which is exactly how we’d describe the film’s plot.

It’s alright to have tropes and cliches as long as you have enough emotional depth and self-awareness to prop up the story. “Clifford” has none of this. The relationship between Emily and Clifford is so forced and contrived, it borders on parody. Then, out of nowhere, there’s an evil corporation with a greedy CEO whose trying to capture Clifford so he can solve world hunger. Also, don’t ask how getting the DNA of a giant red dog could possibly help solve famine across the world. Again, it’ll only make you madder. The need for this sloppily thrown together antagonist betrays the film’s lack of confidence in its source material.

The original aniamted series was centred around Clifford helping normal, everyday folk dealing with relatable small-town problems. It would have served the film better to have simply stuck to the series’ emotional core. Focusing on Emily and her family as they find a way to coexist with Clifford. That would have been a sufficient premise for some resonant drama balanced with humour. Instead, what we get is a loud Saturday morning cartoon with people acting like complete imbeciles. To add insult to injury, the film resolves its central conflict with a deus ex machina so ridiculous our cheeks are still sore from cringing.

The writing in the film can be best described as a factory made script produced by an algorithm that has studied every kid-and-their-pet film from the 80s to the early 2000s. The humour is reliant on slapstick of the lowest hanging fruit, awkward jabbering and some mediocre zingers. Comedians like Russell Peters and Kenan Thompson appearing in the film occasionally have a few chuckle-worthy lines but this script certainly does them no favours. Look, if this was a direct-to-tv film on the Paramount Kids channel, we wouldn’t give it such a hard time. It’s exactly the type of fuzzy fluff you’d expect that would keep your kids entertained while you go prepare dinner. As a theatrical release though? It’s relatively short runtime and paper-thin plot makes it extremely difficult to recommend.

Perhaps the only redeeming quality of the film is Clifford. Granted, the proportions of Clifford’s puppy body looks odd at first glance. Beyond that, though, there’s an endearing quality to the lovable scamp as he nuzzles and licks his way into our hearts. What can we say? We’re dog lovers. The film takes full advantage of his large frame for some adorable big-doggo antics as he chases giant hamster wheels and slobbers over people. So yes, if you came solely to gawk and giggle as Clifford makes puppy dog eyes, then you’ll definitely get that in spades.

That being said, Clifford can’t quite redeem the painful  performances of the main cast. Darby Camp plays Emily, a brilliant but misunderstood kid who wants nothing more than anything to save her pet. What else is there to her? Nothing! Camp does her best to invoke as much sympathy from us as possible but some of the lines uttered out of her mouth are so moronically sappy, we can’t help but burst out laughing.

Which is ironic seeing that we found her whacky comic-relief uncle the most insufferably unfunny out of the lot. Jack Whitehall’s Uncle Casey seems to only exists to be a punchline for Emily and others around him. So when the film suddenly decides that it’s time for Uncle Casey to have some depth, it falls completely flat. Izaac Wang as Emily’s new best friend Owen Yu barely gets any character development and yet we’re suppose to believe that he’d risk life and limb to help her out. If you’re looking for an adorable Asian sidekick done right, look no further than Podcast from “Ghostbusters: Afterlife”.

Don’t let the seemingly wholesome vernier of “Clifford the Red Dog” fool you. Beneath its red, furry skin lies a film that was created by committee with the purpose wringing as much nostalgic goodwill and cheap sentiment out of the general public as possible. No matter how large our canine friend gets, it can’t quite carry the weight of the film’s lacklustre plot and questionable writing.

For all you diehard pet-lovers out there, you can catch “Clifford the Big Red Dog” when it hits theaters on 10th February!