A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with my friend Syuhada. She’s on a mission to keep her life minimal by decluttering her home—throwing out old clothes and things she no longer uses. Her reason? To make fewer decisions every day. Honestly, it’s a brilliant idea.
Well, coincidentally, I’ve been doing something similar for the past few years. My wardrobe? It’s practically a uniform of black t-shirts. I totally avoid the “what do I wear?” dilemma every morning. I have realised lately that I am flying through the day while my friends are worrying over what to wear tomorrow.
But, of course, more decisions came into my life as soon as I got married. Now, the big questions are around meals: what to cook for lunch and dinner. Luckily, I’m not the type to fuss over breakfast, so that saves me a meal! Still, deciding on two meals a day is no joke. Why doesn’t my husband help with these decisions? Well, I think men are just… lazy thinkers. He’s happily left 100% of our daily food choices in my hands.
Now, I get that marriage is supposed to be teamwork. You decide things together. But if we’re honest, men tend to be a bit more laid-back.
After making a million decisions at work from 9 to 5, you come home, and there’s still a list waiting for you. What to cook, what to clean first, should I shower or start dinner? Do I need to stop by the store, or do we have enough ingredients? Meanwhile, your husband strolls in, drops his socks on the sofa, and flops down with his phone to talk about how exhausting his day was. And don’t even get me started on what happens when kids enter the picture!
So, How Do We Avoid Decision Fatigue In Relationships?
First, let’s talk about what “decision fatigue” is. Essentially, it’s when the quality of your decisions starts to decline after you’ve made too many in a row. Our brains can only handle so much decision-making before they get tired. It’s like a muscle—use it too much, and it gets worn out. In relationships, this can become a real problem, especially when one partner (ahem, usually the woman) takes on the bulk of the decision-making.
1. Communicate Openly
One of the easiest ways to avoid decision fatigue is through communication. Don’t wait until you’re already tired and stressed out to talk about who’s doing what. Sit down together and decide which responsibilities you can share. This doesn’t mean everything has to be 50/50 every day, but alternating who’s in charge of certain decisions can help lighten the mental load. For instance, if you’re in charge of meals one week, maybe your partner can handle them the next.
2. Plan Meals Together
Meal planning is a lifesaver. Instead of asking “What’s for dinner?” every single day, set aside a time at the beginning of the week to plan meals together. It takes a little effort upfront, but it’ll save you so much mental energy during the week. Plus, it can be fun—you can try out new recipes or take turns choosing.
3. Set Boundaries On Decision-Making
Another helpful tip is to set boundaries on decision-making. There are some things that don’t need to be discussed to death. Set clear roles or limits so that not every little thing becomes a debate. For example, you could agree that one person always does the grocery list, while the other focusses on managing the household budget.
4. Encourage Equal Participation
For men, especially, it’s important to get more involved. Let’s be real: “I don’t know, you choose” is not a valid answer when asked what you want for dinner. Being an active participant in the decision-making process isn’t just about helping your partner—it’s about showing that you’re in this together. Sure, it might feel easier to let your partner handle it, but over time, this imbalance leads to resentment and burnout.
5. Simplify Where Possible
Lastly, don’t be afraid to simplify where you can. Just like how I’ve simplified my wardrobe to make fewer decisions each morning, you can simplify your home life too. Stick to a routine, automate where possible, and don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s okay if dinner isn’t a five-star meal every night. What matters is that you’re reducing the number of decisions you have to make so that when the big ones come along, you’re not completely drained.
In conclusion, relationships are about teamwork. Sharing responsibilities and making decisions together not only reduces decision fatigue but strengthens the partnership. By planning ahead, communicating openly, and simplifying where possible, you’ll find that life becomes a lot less overwhelming. And hey, when all else fails, laugh it off—because, at the end of the day, it’s not about who made the decision; it’s about enjoying life together.
