What is the difference between emotion and mood? Are they the same? Not the same but interlink? That was main topic of the day as we (the media) sat down with Jenn Chia and the team from LAC Malaysia. As one of the many fans who have been following @soimjenn on Instagram, we’ve seen the content creator share her ups and downs, tears, emotional struggles and vulnerability to her audiences.
The day before LAC Malaysia kicked off ‘In The Mood with Jenn Chia’, the content creator was asked if she could recall a significant event that changed the way she dealt with people and situations moving forward. “I think I’ll tell a little story, something that happened and what I’ve done to understand what was happening,” she said.
Teaching The Angmoh How To Speak Chinese
Jenn begin, “So, I have an angmoh husband. But before we got married, I was very adamant for him to learn Chinese because my grandmother speaks Chinese. I’ve been teaching him Mandarin so he can connect with my grandma. So, I kept teaching him Chinese and I sat there with so much patience. I sat there for 30 minutes to teach him some simple Chinese words – and I know myself, I’m very particular. (I would say) “Wo bao le” which means I’m full but he would say it in a different tone and it sounds very wrong. And it gets irritating for me because it’s not enough, my grandma won’t understand his accent. So I would sit down there for 30 minutes, trying to get it right.
And I remember we were at Starling Mall; I was walking there with him and I said, “Ni chi bao le ma?” (have you eaten?) and he would said “wo chi bao le” *in a broken tone*. And at that moment – I kid you not – I immediately felt so much rage. And I’m using the word rage, yeah? It doesn’t make sense; like someone is learning the language and it’s supposed to be nice but I felt this intense rage (that) I couldn’t talk to him and the whole time, I felt my whole body, physiologically, stiffening up. I felt like my heart was palpitating very fast and I just didn’t want to talk to Jon. We were supposed to get groceries but I told him, “You go and get the groceries, I’m going home. I’m gonna pack my bags and I’m going to a hotel”. (It was) That kind of reaction, it was a very intense reaction. It was so intense that I packed my bag, I went and checked into a hotel. Just because he didn’t understand the language.”
“So for me, at that point, – this probably happened a year ago – I didn’t understand why I felt so intensely and it doesn’t make sense. So, I checked into a hotel, and I told Jon, “I’m not breaking up with you, don’t worry. I just need to understand why I’m like this.” So then, earlier I mentioned what I did (to understand my emotions), I started writing down and I was crying – I don’t even know why I was crying, I was just writing down everything. The reason why I journal is that whatever is in my head, I like to put it down (on paper) so I can see those words in front of me. I wrote everything, “Stupid guy, don’t know how to say the word, I can do it so I expect him to do it as well.” and I wrote something like, “How can he waste my time? I expect him to appreciate me.” And one word that kept popping up was expectations; I expected Jon to do this, I expected him to understand the language. And then from there, I realised the word ‘expectations’ kept coming up and it made me realise, I have very high expectations. Not just on him but also, on myself. I expected myself to learn a new language in 30 minutes and I expected him to do that too. And I did my research about it – and this was a very lonely journey to understand why I feel certain ways but if I wasn’t aware that it was because of my high expectations that triggered this rage, I feel that Jon wouldn’t have understood me and I wouldn’t have been able to articulate as well.
When I told my therapist about it, she explained that people with high expectations have very low self-compassion and that has a lot to do with being kind to myself. So (since) I don’t know how to be kind to myself, I didn’t know how to be kind to him. So, all of this, to me, is the reason why emotion is so important to understand and you shouldn’t judge yourself for your emotions. I didn’t judge myself and I’m glad Jon didn’t judge for being a crazy girl *laughs*. For me, this experience is something very notable in my mind because something so small can cause rage that can build into something else. I could’ve said something very unkind to Jon if I wasn’t aware of the situation. Interestingly, you mentioned hormones – two days later, my period came *laughs* So sometimes, it is a combination of different things. At that time, I was unable to manage my emotions or understand my emotions and at the same time, my hormones were all over the place.”
Jenn’s Superpower & the Kitchen Drawer
Jenn also recall how her upbringing has inevitably shaped how she deals with her emotions. Self-awareness is the first step, but unlearning the behaviour – or rather – adopting a new way to deal with it, is an ongoing process. “Going up, all I did was survive. Meaning; I didn’t come from a rich family so I always need to work hard, I always need to strive. I was always in survival mode, even when I started a company with Jon, I was always working. So whenever I feel sad, I’ve kinda trained myself to detach from my emotions. It has helped me in the short term. That to me is a superpower but the scary part about it is that it bubbles up and one day, it explodes. So, for me, learning the languages of emotions have helped me is knowing that “Hey, I’m feeling sad right now (but) I need to come here. I want to share my story and be authentic. I will deal with these emotions later.” That, to me, has been very helpful. It has helped me to just keep going so I don’t just sit down here and cry and tell you my sad story. So that’s how I learned to be aware. It’s a superpower but it’s also very dangerous because last time, when I shoved everything down, the pandemic happened and I had nowhere to shove (my emotions).”
“A good example (of this) is in everyone’s kitchen, there is bound to be a drawer that is unorganised and there will be some random things stored in there. The reason why I say that is because I feel that I’m so good at shoving all my emotions in “a kitchen drawer” that one day, I couldn’t shove in any more and one day, it just blew up. So, for me, right now, my ability to detach (from my emotions) is good but learning to deal with it sustainably is even better.”
In our culture, we all have the tendency to sweep things under the carpet (or in Jenn’s case – shoving emotions into a drawer). While sometimes that is necessary (like when handling a funeral), if left unattended and suppress repeatedly, we will hit a breaking point of mentally shutting down. “I used to shove my emotions and never revisit it but then I spend a lot more money going to therapy. That’s why it’s important to learn about emotions. I’m telling you, therapy is expensive but it’s good because you’re talking to someone who is unbiased and trained. For me, that’s why we’re doing this (event), for people to have tangible tools for them to learn how to manage their emotions,” Jenn added.
The 3A Approach & M.R.X.
Psychologist and therapist Au Wei Yin from MY Psychology suggests adopting the AAA method to figure out the reason why we feel the way we feel. Hopefully this can help us slow down the process and help us understand our emotions better. “The 3A approach: Awareness, Acceptance, and Action. First, becoming aware of our emotions helps us notice how we feel, allowing some distance for objectivity. The aim is not to judge our emotions but to accept them as they are, letting go of the need for control. This leads to taking measured action, often by shifting perspective rather than changing the situation itself. By acknowledging the impermanence of situations, we can make purposeful choices, boosting mental resilience and improving our well-being,” Wei Yin explained.
When it comes to having a work-life balance, one should also strive to have a healthy lifestyle. Anxiety and depression cause low serotonin levels and that’s why exercise is recommended to increase serotonin. It’s the same with medication and supplements, our meals and diet – everything is correlated with each other. Following the invigorating yoga session, Jenn invited certified nutritionist Cynthia Jetan up on stage where they delved into the intricate connection between diet, emotions, and mood.
During the discussion, Cynthia highlighted the connection between what we eat and how we feel. “While it’s no surprise that our diet is closely related to our overall well-being, the relentless demands of time and daily pressures often lead us to overlook the subtle nuances and consequences of an irregular diet. Take, for instance, the ‘hangry’ sensation when low blood sugar strikes—it’s not merely a fleeting emotion but a signal of the vital role food plays in nurturing not just the body but the mind and soul,” she said. “Supplements don’t replace our daily meals; rather, they serve as valuable additions to enhance the functioning of our lives.”
While there is no “one size fits all” – because everyone’s body is different and the reaction might be different – both Jenn and Cynthia suggest 2 capsules of LAC M.R.X. per day for 2 months. “If you look at MRX, it’s actually MoodRX, which aims to regulate your mood. The ingredients are very special because, for other supplements for stress regulating, they are mostly just stress regulating but this one helps boost your happy hormones: serotonin. So, the ingredients are Ashwagandha Root, which is an Ayurvedic herb that has been used for many centuries to deal with stress. It essentially helps our body to adapt to stress – because stress is always going to be there so we have to teach our body to adapt to stress. In this formula, we have Ashwagandha to help you adapt to stress, it also has chamomile (relaxing ingredient), and there’s also ingredients like DHA, Omega-3 and jujube seed to increase one’s serotonin, so it’s more comprehensive and holistic. It helps you to relax and promote a happy mood,” Cynthia added.
As Au Wei Yin pointed out, human beings experience a wide array of emotions—happiness, sadness, anger, shame, disgust, and more. While these emotions are typically short-lived, they can accumulate and influence our mood if not regulated effectively.
