The kissing song and rhyme usually claim love comes first, followed by marriage and finally the baby in its carriage. But 爱 FM (Ai FM) DJ Essel Yap (叶恩慈) had a very different life plan laid out.
Essel has always been firm about not getting married, as she viewed marriage as a social contract for a family. “I’ll only get married if I have kids,” she stated. Well, that statement has apparently come true! Just recently, the DJ revealed two pieces of good news; her marriage and her baby!
“I’ve always been determined to not get married,” the DJ explained in her Facebook post. “Mainly because I never planned to have kids.” Essel shared that this thinking stemmed from her view of motherhood as she felt it is “the most difficult role in the world“. She added that she never felt qualified to be a mom, nor could she find a reason to want to take on the role.
However, all that changed when she turned 34 this year, the boundary of advanced maternal age. “A voice came to my mind: now or never,” she said. Essel shared that she started talking to her friends who are parents and asked her childless friends if they had any life regrets. “After months of careful consideration, I quietly made a new decision (in) my life,” she stated.
Essel began making preparations to get pregnant, including recuperating and travelling overseas. When her friends noticed, they started asking her when she would get married. “I answered: Only after a successful pregnancy,” she shared. But this apparently worried her friends, as they were concerned about what conservative people would think.
Still, Essel was staunch in her decision. “What if I (got married) but couldn’t get (pregnant)?” she asked. “After all, being a mother depends on fate.” The local DJ added that she did not want to “marry in vain” as she did not want to “sacrifice (her) ideal love in vain“.
As such, when her wedding photo was posted, Essel knew her followers would understand. “Yes,” she confirmed. “I am grateful to God for blessing me to be a mother.” She later added that she was mainly marrying for the sake of her child’s legal status. “This is my gift to Xiao Long Bao (小龙包),” she said.
Well, congrats to Essel Yap on both her marriage and her pregnancy! While her worldview isn’t the most common one, we’re certain her family and friends are still happy for her regardless and look forward to meeting her first-born child soon.