So, we talked about B-grade movies aka B-movies that we actually forgot were B-movies while we were watching them because we ended up actually liking them. However shameless that just sounded. Now, let’s look at the B-movies that were clearly more inferior to the more high-budget, better produced A-grade (read: blockbuster) movies.
Sure, it’d be unfair to compare A-grade movies to B-movies considering the circumstances. But despite how bad the script was (read: rubbish jokes), how forgettable the cast was (read: flat characters), or the overall quality of the production, some of these B-movies are definitely going down in history with the rest of mankind. Because as much as they’re painful or plain disturbing to watch, these definitely left a lasting impressions but we probably wouldn’t bring ourselves to watch them again. By that, we mean people still talk about some of these B-movies not because they’re good, but because they’re the complete opposite of good.
If you’re curious, here are the B-movies that were so bad (our opinion only entirely, of course) that we cannot even-..but we watched, just once:
Piranha (1978)
Piranha is an American B-movie about a swarm of killer piranhas. On its own, it was meant to be a parody of the 1975 film Jaws, which had been a major success for distributor Universal Studios and director Steven Spielberg. Jaws went on to inspire a series of similarly themed B-movies such as Grizzly, Tintorera, Tentacles, Orca, Monster Shark, and Great White.
The Piranha film was directed and co-edited by Joe Dante, produced by Roger Corman, and starred Bradford Dillman, Heather Menzies, Kevin McCarthy, Keenan Wynn, Barbara Steele, and Dick Miller. Not sure how it managed to: spawn a sequel, “Piranha II: The Spawning” (even the name is quite B-name); 2 remakes, “Piranha” in 1995 and “Piranha 3D” in 2010; and even a sequel, “Piranha 3DD” in 2012, for the 2010 remake.
Even “Piranha 3DD” was still considered a B-movie, for obvious reasons. Watch the trailer:
Real-life piranha fun fact: There are approximately 20 species of piranha found living in the Amazon River, with only four or five of them posing any danger. Contrary to popular belief (thanks to the film), most piranha species are quite harmless and docile, but the ones with the nasty reputation for aggressive behavior are the red-bellied piranha, Pygocentrus nattereri.
Killer Klowns From Outer Space (1988)
Killer Klowns from Outer Space is an American science fiction horror comedy movie made by The Chiodo Brothers and starring Grant Cramer and Suzanne Snyder. It is the only Chiodo Brothers’ directed and written film – they have worked in many other projects in other roles, such as producing and visual effects. This deliriously weird sci-fi film is about a race of aliens, who just happen to resemble clowns, that arrive on Earth to capture and harvest people (read: turn them into cotton candy) to use as sustenance. Killer Klowns from Outer Space was the only film that The Chiodo Brothers produced and directed but outside this movie, they’re known to have provided effects for titles like the Critters series and Will Ferrell’s Elf.
If you were never afraid of clowns, this should do the trick. Watch (before it gets taken down):
Killer Klowns from Outer Space by crazedigitalmovies
A sequel entitled Return of the Killer Klowns from Outer Space in 3D is currently in the works, slated to be released in 2016
Cannibal Holocaust (1980)
Cannibal Holocaust is a 1980 Italian cannibal film directed by Ruggero Deodato from a screenplay by Gianfranco Clerici, starring Carl Gabriel Yorke, Robert Kerman, Francesca Ciardi, and Luca Barbareschi. The film tells the story of a missing documentary film crew who had gone to the Amazon. The only difference is that in the film, the film crew’s mission is to film cannibal tribes. A rescue mission, led by the New York University anthropologist Harold Monroe, recovers the film crew’s lost cans of film, which an American television station wishes to broadcast. Upon viewing the reels, Monroe is appalled by the team’s actions, and after learning their fate, he objects to the station’s intent to air the documentary.
The presentation of the film team’s lost footage, functioning similar to a flashback, inspired the found footage style of narrative filmmaking, later popularised by such films as the The Blair Witch Project.
Cannibal Holocaust achieved notoriety as its graphic violence aroused a great deal of controversy. The film was banned in Italy, Australia, and several other countries due to its portrayal of graphic brutality, sexual assault, and genuine violence toward animals. Some nations have since revoked the ban, but the film is still banned in several countries.
Watch the trailer at your own discretion:
Let it be known that Cannibal Holocaust is absolutely not, under any circumstances, a fun movie. It is beyond disturbing and beyond gross, and it will haunt you for years to come. As it did us.
Seed of Chucky (2004)
While the original Chucky film, 1988’s “Child’s Play”, was an ace horror flick that was ahead of its time, Seed of Chucky more of less tanked.
Seed of Chucky is a comedy horror film and the fifth instalment in the Child’s Play series, written and directed by Don Mancini, who created Child’s Play and has written all of the films in the series. The film follows the events of the previous film and once again stars Jennifer Tilly (who plays herself and also voices Tiffany), Billy Boyd (as the voice of Glen), Brad Dourif (as Chucky), and Steve Lawton (as Stan). The film features rapper Reginald Noble, cult director John Waters, and S Club 7 star Hannah Spearritt. Shot in Romania, it continues the series’ evolution from the pure-horror genre of the first film to a hybrid horror-comedy. It is also the first (and to date, only) appearance of Glen, the title character and son of Chucky and Tiffany.
Besides spoofing other horror films, the film references domestic dramas and tabloid television.
This film also counts as the first film in the series to contain nudity and so far, the final film to be released in theatres. In 2013, its sequel “Curse of Chucky” was released straight to video.
The Human Centipede (2010)
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) is a Dutch horror film written, directed, and co-produced by Tom Six. The film tells the story of a German doctor who kidnaps 3 tourists and joins them surgically, mouth to anus, forming a “human centipede,” a conjoined triplet. It stars Dieter Laser as the antagonist villain, Dr. Heiter, with Ashley C. Williams, Ashlynn Yennie, and Akihiro Kitamura as his victims. According to Six, the concept of the film arose from a joke he made with friends about punishing a child molester by stitching his mouth to the anus of a “fat truck driver”.
When approaching investors prior to filming, Six did not mention the mouth-to-anus aspect of the plot, fearing it would put off potential backers. The financiers of The Human Centipede did not discover the full nature of the film until it was complete. The film received generally negative reviews from mainstream film critics, but it won several accolades at international film festivals. It was released in the US on a limited release theatrically in 2010 and unsurprisingly received generally negative reviews.
A sequel, The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence), also written and directed by Six, was released in 2011.
Sharknado (2013)
Sharknado is a made-for-television satirical disaster film stars Tara Reid, Cassie Scerbo, Jaason Simmons, John Heard, and Ian Ziering.
The story centres on a freak hurricane swamping Los Angeles that becomes nature’s deadliest killer rules sea, land, and air as thousands of sharks terrorise the waterlogged populace. Surfer and bar-owner Fin (plyed by Ian Ziering) sets out with his friends, Baz (playd by Jaason Simmons), Nova (played by Cassie Scerbo) and George (played by John Heard), to rescue his estranged wife, April (played by Tara Reid), and teenage daughter Claudia (played by Aubrey Peeples). While heading to April’s home, George is killed and the group learns of a tornado warning. They arrive at April’s house just before the first floor is flooded and shark-infested. Collin (Christopher Wolfe) April’s boyfriend is eaten by sharks, but the rest of the group escape unharmed. They meet up with Fin and April’s son Matt (Chuck Hittinger), who’s taking shelter at his flight school; he and Nova become attracted to each other. Matt and Nova decide to stop the threat of the incoming “sharknadoes” by tossing bombs into them from a helicopter.
It first aired on Syfy Channel in 2013. It was also given a one-night only special midnight theatrical screening via Regal Cinemas and NCM Fathom Events, where it took less than USD200,000 in the box office across 200 screenings.
Sharknado spawned a sequel, “Sharknado 2: The Second One” (most creative title ever), which was premiered on Syfy Channel in 2014. A third film in scheduled for a 2015 release.
BONUS:
Dinoshark (2010)
Sharktopus (2010)
RoboCroc (2013)
Why anyone would make some of the above films is still beyond us.
Got any “What the heck did I just watch?!”-worthy B-movies that you think we should add to the above list? Drop us a comment in the comment box below!
